


I'll Never Let Go

by LovingAlex



Series: Domestic AF [11]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Backstory, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, First Meetings, Flashbacks, Inspired by Music, M/M, Parenthood, Reflection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-10
Updated: 2019-10-10
Packaged: 2020-12-07 12:38:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20976026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LovingAlex/pseuds/LovingAlex
Summary: Merlin and Arthur look back at how they first started out and how things have changed over the years.Inspired by the song "Say You Won't Let Go” by James Arthur.





	I'll Never Let Go

**Author's Note:**

> I HAD JUST FINISHED READING KILLING STALKING A LITTLE BIT BEFORE I WENT TO OUTLINE THIS AND ALL THE LOVE AND EMOTION HIT ME LIKE A FREAKING HIGH SPEED TRAIN! THIS SONG JUST MAKES ME EMOTIONAL, OKAY?! LET ME CRY IN THE CORNER IN PEACE  
Luckily, Merlin and Arthur’s relationship in this AU being so wholesome and loving and lasting, it was a bittersweet balm to my aching lonely ass heart…  
Also, I'm really sorry I missed posting this on Tuesday! This is the first time I've missed a deadline for this series! In my defense, I was really sick and it came out of nowhere :/

Merlin takes a sip of tea from his mug. It’s his favorite, covered in little drawings of dragons and wizards and knights.

The house is quiet. 

It rarely is other than the middle of a weekday. At the moment, Merlin was home alone. 

Arthur is dropping Ella (who now goes by Elyan) off at fencing practice. Meanwhile, Gwen is at her own practice for Ballet. The tickets for her upcoming recital hang on the fridge next to a flyer for a robot building competition Elyan wants to sign up for and a poster reminding the students of Camelot High to vote Gwen for student body president.

He sits at the island counter and lets his mind wander into a nostalgic mood. He thinks about what started all this. 

The moment where it feels his life really began.

**xXx Flashback xXx **

The two met way back in highschool. It was during a halloween party their sophomore year. 

The party was being held by Arthur’s rich cousin who was a senior at the time, so of course Arthur’s friends made him go so he could bring them. Arthur has admitted that he can’t really be pissy about it, seeing how it lead to him and Merlin meeting. Merlin says that they would’ve met in some other way if they didn’t meet there. Something about Fate and a bunch of Destiny mumbo jumbo that Arthur never believes in.

Merlin, similar to Arthur, was dragged there by an older friend even though he really didn’t want to go. He hasn’t talked to the friend in forever, but it’s not too upsetting. Life goes on, ya know?

The blaring music and the rowdy drunk teenagers gave Merlin a headache before he even made it through the front door. 

As soon as his friend was distracted, Merlin slipped away to find a place to recharge his socializing batteries.

After a bit of searching, he found a study closed off from the rest of the party. Heaving a sigh of relief, this becomes his hideaway for the night.

He’s only there for about a half hour when the lights suddenly go out.

Merlin learns later that it’s because some idiot decided it was a good idea to spill a bear all over the power box in one of the offices downstairs and short circuit it. 

However, at that moment, he was too busy freaking out. 

What could have caused the lights to go out? 

Maybe someone was playing a prank on him by shutting off the lights? No, the thump of music he was still able to hear had stopped. He pulls himself away from his own panic in order to take in more of his surroundings. Listening, he could hear people screaming and complaining throughout the house and the backyard. Must be a power outage, but what could’ve made it go out so suddenly?

His mind was racing, body shaking, and he could feel his anxiety rising up his throat. It threatened to choke him and made him nauseous. 

The door to the study bangs open and someone rushes in, promptly tripping over Merlin. 

When did he get on the floor?

The person cuses up a storm and scrambles over to where Merlin thinks the desk was. After a bit of rummaging, a bright light is turned on and pointed right at his face. Merlin squints at the blinding light.

“What are you doing in here? And why the hell are you on the floor?” the person-- a man, Merlin guessed by the voice-- asks.

“I uh, was just trying to get away from the crowd?” Merlin tried to explain, but it came out weak and for some reason confused.

“And you’re on the floor  _ why _ ?” the other boy repeated, finally moving the beam of light out of Merlin’s face.

“I don’t know. I think I just had an anxiety attack…”

The boy moves closer and crouches down next to Merlin “Are you okay?” he asked in genuine concerned. The man raised a hand to set it on Merlin’s shoulder, but when he flinched, the stranger pulls back away.

Merlin’s mouth was a desert and it felt like the guy stomped on his chest instead of tripped over his legs. Merlin could’ve gone for a drink ( _ without any alcohol, thanks _ ) and a good nap to rest his oddly sore muscles.

He turned towards the man who was patiently waiting for Merlin to gather himself. Now that the man is closer and Merlin’s eyes have adjusted to the low lighting, he gets a good look at the stranger.

The man is beautiful. Strong jaw, golden hair, and a toned body under a tight t-shirt. Merlin didn’t need a drink anymore. 

At least... not for a dry mouth…

“I’m-I’m pretty sure I died and this is heaven…” Merlin squeaks. That was stupid. His dummy brain must’ve still been muddled with lingering chemicals.

The boy snorted, then broke out into laughter. Merlin turned red from embarrassment, glad that it was still pretty dark.

**xXx Present xXx **

The front door opening and closing brings Merlin back to the present.

Arthur joins him in the kitchen with a tired sigh.

“Tell me again,  _ why  _ did we let the kids join so many clubs?” he complains as he sits down next to his husband and lays his forehead down on the counter with a light thud.

Merlin chuckles, reaching out and running a soothing hand through Arthur’s blond locks.

“Because they are flourishing preteens who share our workaholic tendencies,” he leans closer to his husband’s ear, continuing in a more hushed tone, “and because you love them and want to let them explore their full potential.”

Arthur turns his head to the side in order to see Merlin. Only to end up glaring at him. 

“I hate it when you have a point.”

“Aw, you love me and you know it”

“I  _ didn’t _ know it for the longest time. I can’t believe something so simple had made me finally realise…”

Ah, Merlin has heard this story before. When Arthur first realised how head over heels in love he was with Merlin.

**xXx Flashback xXx **

It happened during a party two months after they moved in together for college.

Merlin was going through some family stuff. His father had just come back, only to get arrested (over something he didn’t do) a week later. Merlin, in turn, ended up drinking  _ WAY  _ too much.

Arthur rubbed his back as Merlin dry heaved into the toilet. His stomach had already been emptied, but his body wouldn’t stop rebelling against his poor decisions.

He hushed Merlin’s pained whimpers. 

Merlin turned to look over his shoulder at his friend and gave him a tiny, wobbling smile as a thanks for being there for him.

_ God he loved Merlin’s stupid face. _

The realization hit Arthur like a brick bus going at the speed of sound. 

_ Fuck… _

He loved his best friend.

It knocks him off balance and he plops back onto his ass. He ends up just sitting there, comforting the love of his life while they both sit on the cold tiled floor of a stranger’s bathroom.

**xXx Present xXx **

After that, according to Arthur, it was a little difficult living together with Merlin. 

It wasn’t that he didn’t  _ want _ to live with him, no, it was Merlin’s late night study sessions with random sleepy mumblings and tousled hair and fuzzy pj pants all while wearing one of  _ Arthur’s _ old high school jerseys. Add it all up and it drove Arthur to sexually frustrated insanity.

He didn’t admit any of this to Merlin until months after they finally pulled their heads out of their asses and got together. 

Merlin is still amused at how his unwashed hair and eye bags that went on for miles had and still does turn Arthur on.

“I love you too,” he finally replies, laying his head against the back of Arthur’s neck and wrapping an arm around the blond’s waist to pull him and his chair closer.

Arthur grumbles half heartedly into the cold counter.

**Author's Note:**

> Merlin had an anxiety attack and stupid me wrote the symptoms for a panic attack THEN the after affects of an anxiety attack (yes, the two are different)... whELP never said I was good at this XD  
One more installment left! It feels so surreal that this is finally coming to an end!
> 
> You can now follow my writing stuff on [Tumblr!](https://lovingalexlots.tumblr.com/)


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